Sometimes, I think we forget that behind the blog, behind the computer screen, bloggers are real people, writing about their lives.
I’m not perfect.
Ever since the Advocare 24 Day Challenge ended, I have gone right back to the way I was eating before I started the challenge. I know how much better I felt, how much more energy I had, when I was eating whole, unprocessed foods, yet I went right back to eating like crap.
I’m not really sure why.
I’m “busy.” I put it in quotes, because I don’t have children. I don’t have a family to support. Yet, I am in grad school. I am working full-time. I am trying to have a social life. I am trying to volunteer with Girls on The Run. I am blogging. Of course, these are all things that I’ve chosen (except the working full-time thing, that is a necessary evil ;))
I keep trying to lose weight, and I feel like I keep failing. It’s frustrating. I know what to eat, I know how to lose weight, yet it’s the execution that I fail in.
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However, I also know that I haven’t really failed until I’ve stopped trying.
I like fruits. I like vegetables. BUT, I also like french fries, and chocolate, and chips. I’ve always said that losing weight, maintaining weight and feeling good about yourself and your body is about balance. Finding a balance between the fruit and a cupcake. Yet, right now I’m struggling with the balance.
My reaction when I’m stressed has always been to reach for food as a comfort. Also, I’m not talking I eat fruit as a comfort, I want cookies, which is all fine and dandy every once in awhile, but all the “feeling better” about myself during Advocare is gone.
I’m stressed about school. I’m stressed about work. I’m stressed about my half marathon. (15 Days!!!!) And we know that stressed is just desserts spelled backwards 
I suppose the point of this post is to say that I know I’m not really losing weight, and it makes me mad. It’s frustrating that I’m not really making progress. It’s frustrating that I’m worried about the half, and my training. It’s frustrating that I like to make lists, and I have what feels like 8,000 lists and ideas on how to lose weight, yet I’m not. Perhaps the title of this post should have just been I’m frustrated!
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I’m not perfect, but that’s because I’m human. I’m going to make mistakes. I’m going to fall. But, I’m also going to pick myself back up again. Every tomorrow, I’m going to keep trying. I refuse to give up.